everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
