i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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