he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
