I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
