every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
