wakey wakey hands off snakey
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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