how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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