it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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