And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
