i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
