hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
