You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
