i just google imaged poop.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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