apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
