Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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