Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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