Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
