I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
