i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Bring me that man meat
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
