If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
