I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
