pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
