no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
