I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
