I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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