I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize