We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
