I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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