This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize