Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just high enough for therapy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
