Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
