he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
