I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
