I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
