oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my liver is dry heaving
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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