Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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