Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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