Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
