i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
