She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
