goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
