Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
