i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
