Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Drunk is a universal language darling
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
