And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
