I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
