It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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