The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
