My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Success! We fucked roommates!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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