Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
