well I can't set my house on fire every night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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