No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize