It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
