So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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