somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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