no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
