do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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