Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
