So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
