why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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