I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
